Letting go is hard…

… holding on is harder.

When major life changes occur, a million questions come to mind. I have many times wondered which is the most productive course to follow. I’m not sure! We all strive to make sense of our own reality, especially when it drastically changes. Even if it is in truth, a change from what we thought or hoped reality was.

You know how it is said that a person has never been so free from faults as when they are remembered after a loss… a death, a break-up or a life situation that you were involved in. This perception only compounds our sadness. During such times I try to unravel the reality of that, but in the analyzing comes a fair dose of pain. Sometimes I think it is better to just let the train of thought go; not so easy to do though, admittedly.

Pain comes back to haunt like no other emotion, like the stinging of an open wound. Fortunately, we have a need inside of us to heal, to understand. I believe our unconsciousletting go is not giving up goal is to let things go, but sometimes the only way to do that is by going right through the painful fire, and oh my does that hurt!

Being an over-thinker by default, although a reforming one in recent times, I find that I go back to the ruminating fairly quickly under duress. I frequently grapple with the concepts of reality and emotion and wonder how life was one way just moments, hours or days ago but when a situation throws us off the tracks emotionally, life takes on a new feel. Our thoughts, demeanor, personality become framed with sadness, anxiety or anger depending on the circumstances that have just occurred. The world, the reality of what is, has not changed, yet our perceptions of everything we look at becomes skewed.

In my mind, accepting a new situation whether good, bad, sad, devastating or whichever it might be, is the only way to get back on track. If we look at everything or at least the emotion associated with life, the thought that… “This too shall pass” is certainly a healthy perspective to adopt.

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“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

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Free Lemon Giveaway…

I don’t think I need to tell any of you about how life can throw you some punches. Sometimes it hands you challenges that you know you could have done without.

lemonI have been staring this realization in the eyes each morning for almost a week. I have awoken with an element of uncertainty and although I have experienced similar issues in the past, each time presents itself as a new adversary to become familiar with and to conquer.

I have had a nagging recurrent health issue that finds the most inopportune times to rear it’s ugly head. I guess we are never prepared to divert from our normal day.

I have been forced to slow down, rest, take care of #1, eat well, hydrate and keep positive. At least a couple of items on this list are among concepts that I regularly disregard.

I have been happy only in the fact that I appear, to myself anyway, to be more content or patient than on previous occasions of this illness flaring up. I’m doing what I can to take good care and then mostly letting go of anxiety and worry, staying positive and following sound medical advice.

vanilla-lemonade-sl-xSo I’m going to hang tight, take care of #1 and wait till it’s time to serve the lemonade, and….

 

find The Peace in Letting Go….

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Changing the way I don’t think…

IMG_3830I think some of you are really going to get this, others will understand but don’t feel affected by it and then there will be some who think it makes no sense. Now, I get that, mostly because each of those points of view has crossed my mind in regard to this subject, at one time or another, depending on the circumstance or the way the wind is blowing.

Over the past few days I have been in the position to focus in order to do some meaningful work in regard to my next book, and also throw a few thoughts in the directions of a couple of other projects. You would be correct if your thought, right now, is that I might get more done if I wasn’t wasting time changing the subject and writing blogs and such. Point already taken : )

Now, I don’t know how other writers do this sort of thing, but I tend to need things to quiet down inside before I can get down to the layer of all things meaningful and creative. That’s not to say that I don’t have my moments here and there when an idea hits and all kinds of wonderfulness oozes forth onto paper. For the most part however when it comes to writing for an extended and focused period in one particular direction, I need to be fairly centered and quiet inside.

That, by the way, is why I head out of town for the most part. Away means more present, if you know what I’m saying. But lets face it distractions tend to follow you, even if you drive hundreds of miles away from them. Mine do anyway; clingy little things!

So with no one else to turn to for advice as I am faced with this dilemma, I have a chat with Eckhart Tolle, my hero in this Present Moment !

Not to simplify (although I clearly should), it all comes down to trying not to resist the Present. In this regard I have to admit I am a repeat offender of the most distracted kind. Part of the problem comes from the whole writing experience. It takes my train of thought into the past and then at times forward into the future. Since the quieting down and just ‘being’ possibilities are here in the present moment, it seems to be kind of going against the creative grain to be bouncing around in my head with thoughts to be expounded on from another place and date in time. So off on a tangent I go leaving the present moment and all the peace, quiet and creativity in the rear view mirror.

So that’s my dilemma of the hour. How’s your day going?

Oh, and incidentally I did outline 2 future books, with a lot of time into the one I have chosen to do first. The second needs a bit of research and inquiry so I’ll be gathering info over the next year or so. Also put a lot of thought into and jotted down some ideas for a talk I’m doing on March 18th and wrote an article for a local paper which I was asked to do last night. So, I truly did mean that the aforementioned dilemma was the one of the hour. All’s well in West Rupert!! Ciao!

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Once Upon a Time….

It is time to write again! For a while now a growing need to do so has been welling up inside. At home, on a daily basis there has just never been enough time for anything other than a few jottings here and there; it had become almost frustrating. The need to just sit and formulate thoughts has been intensifying.

Once upon a time

So here I am in southwestern Vermont, sitting on the couch just after 7:30am, sipping a cup of tea and watching the sun gleaming on the snow as it rolls slowly down the mountain, making it’s way farther from the horizon. I bask in peacefulness other than the excitement inside that being here at this moment elicits. My oh my, life is good!

I woke up to the familiar and comfortable feeling of being in this glorious cottage in the middle of the mountains. Peace, absolute solitude and a warmth felt inside, even though it is 10 below on the other side of the window pane.

Peace and excitement are having an exchange at the moment, however. I want to jump up, take a shower and get going with the day. And then it hits me…I already am. So I sit still and soak up the beauty all around me and bask in the moment. Learning to let go yet again.

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Beauty Revisited…

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I have run away to the mountains yet again. In all seasons I find it breathtaking, peaceful and comfortable. For anyone who finds joy and contentment in peace and solitude, this is the place to spend a few days, a week or even more. So much to do, so little to do.

I find the ride to the cottage to be almost meditative, peeling away layers of commotion and disquietude; all of it left behind. A peace sets in the closer I get to the cottage.

IMG_1751The solitude pulls me in. The rolling hills take on a heightened stature and character as the roads wind through the landscape. Each corner brings a new surprise, an unfamiliar beauty, a alternative perspective.

I have been here before; I will be here again. That is, if I have not reached my quota of all things good and beautiful and deserved.

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The answer, my friend….

Disguised at times as a destructive force, it transforms the landscape building character and resilience, pushing away all that is stagnant. I sit and watch the wind blow over the frozen lake, kicking up freshly fallen snow. No longer invisible, I glimpse upon it’s naked beauty. Now seen in all of it’s glory, a facet of it’s personality comes alive.

I am in awe of the forces of nature, mesmerized by it’s purpose and flow. Dancing with such emotion with nothing in it’s path remaining as it was. My new love … the wind, unceasing unto eternity.windy

This true breath of life gives nature it’s tenacity, it’s strength and it’s motivation to overcome any adversity.

What are the wind’s in your life?

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The Writer’s Soul

To  a writer’s soul, this one’s anyway, memories can be one of the starting points of a story. It becomes natural for us to dwell on and expound, making it hard to know, in my musing mind, where reality left off and fantasy or the alternative story has taken over. I have also found that this tendency, which at times oozes into my everyday life, can be a seed of pain if left unobserved. I mull on the real yet hope for the dream, the alternative end to the story. The blessing and the curse come together.

Space starlight

Every circumstance, each event, past, present and potentially in the future brings enjoyment. To me, it’s all exciting…living and musing in the reality, the possible and even the unlikely. They each are the beginnings of a story, an idea to explore.

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